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The Sentinel Sound

Teachers Replaced by Robots to cut Costs

Sam Wamsley
Photo Illustration

In an effort to combat budget problems, the Steilacoom Historical School District has opted to replace a majority of staff at the high school with robots powered by Chat GPT. The idea is still in the early stages of  experimentation and product development, however with how many teachers and staff personnel leaving the school, concerned parents and community members assume this change may be part of a permanent trajectory.

“It’s stupid.” said a disgruntled parent. “My children go to Cherrydale. I’m not gonna have some wannabe maestro nearly electrecute my 8-year-old because they were teaching him how to play ‘Ode to Joy’ on a Recorder.”

The quality of these robots has been brought into question however, as Global Electronics, the company commissioned to make these robots, have a long history of using low quality products and cheap labor, which may be a product of their spotty production.

SHS chemistry teacher Carl Jones, who was replaced by CT-CSPT-7750 Model-CSP-CHEM-RBTIC-SCI shares his concerns that robots may be a liability to the school.
“They don’t have the delicacy that most humans have,” said Jones. “I mean, we’re making all of these advancements in technology right now, but we aren’t developing that fast. We may have that one grape robot surgery video, but that isn’t the standard for robots right now.”

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“I think they’re awesome,” said sophomore Joshua Ramirez. “They’re pretty easy to break so I can use the extra parts for AP Art projects. My favorite robot is TR-800 Model-SPARKPLUG, it’s actually a pretty cool model,” he said.

Whether or not the district will keep these robots is yet to be seen. The next school board meeting is on May 15 where parents and community have a chance to comment on the change.

[this is a satirical monthly column meant to resemble the satircial news source, ‘the onion’.]

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About the Contributors
Fauato Onosai
Fauato Onosai, Online Editor
Writer for the Steilly Shallot and the BB Side. Hater for all things Kanye and Taylor. 9/10 Gamblers strike out before the big win.
Sam Wamsley
Sam Wamsley, Layout Team
(He/They) I like to draw silly things and also write sometimes.
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